I have been absent. VERY absent from this blog. To anyone who might actually be following along, my apologies. I'd love to say there is this great reason that I haven't been blogging much, but honestly, there isn't. My mind, my heart and my energy have simply been directed towards other things recently, and well, the computer has wonderfully lost some of its hold over me. I say wonderfully, because truth-be-told, there have been days in the recent past where I have probably neglected my household and motherly duties for a few extra minutes at the laptop. "What kids, you need to eat?...Okay, after I finish this next Facebook post!" Well, that might be extreme, but I'm sure my family could recite some examples for you.
It's been interesting here in Oz, to have time to reflect on how I live my life, how I spend my time, and what truly makes me happy. Back in the hustle and bustle of my life in Houston, Texas, I was so busy "blowing and going" between activities and commitments, that I never took the time to wonder if I was truly doing things for the right reasons. Did they make me happy? Did they bring glory to God? Probably some did, but for the most part, a lot of my life there was spent doing things because I thought it was what I was supposed to be doing...because it would make someone else happy. I got sucked into all the consumer-driven ways of American life, and forgot that quality really means more than quantity in almost all cases.
I realized I "liked" things because other people liked them and not because I derived any joy from them myself. I lost my own perspective if you will. Some people call this phenomenon "keeping up with the Joneses", but in my case, it was more like "wanting to be the Joneses."
Right now I am trying to take quiet, introspective time to regain my own spirit and style. Will this be a quick and easy process...I hope not. I'm enjoying myself too much. It's really fun when you run into your self again after realizing you've been away too long.
This might not be making any sense to many of you, but that's okay. I just wanted to explain why I haven't been as quick on the uptake with blog posts as you might have expected. So, does the absence really make the heart grow fonder? In the case of my blog, no. In the case of myself, absolutely!
I hear you on that! I just started reading the book Radical by David Platt. Talks about the "American dream" we have created for ourselves. You might, in your free time of course, want to pick it up. Sound like right where you are. Take time to just be, and don't worry about the stinkin' blog. I doubt anyone will be talking about blogs and Facebook in heaven...
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you posted this, Jenn! I clearly remember my similar "A-ha! moment. It was at 3am one morning when Eric was an infant. We were in for yet another all-nighter complete with severe GI problems for him and exhausted tears for me. I had the TV on while I paced the floor with him when a Johnson & Johnson baby wash ad came on. It depicted two beautiful, smiling (and obviously well-rested!) parents standing over a crib, arms around each other. Mommy's hair was beautifully coiffed. Daddy was buff, yet tender. They were smiling lovingly as they looked at their sleeping angel. I, on the other hand, hadn't slept in days, had bags under my eyes worthy of carrying what a couple would need for a month-long European vacation, desperately needed a shower, and Tom was out of state for the 4 week running.
ReplyDeleteI remember thinking, " That isn't real!!! They lied to us!" People see those ads or even the way family life is depicted on TV and somewhere in the back of our minds we think that is how life should be. When life doesn't mimic what we have been taught to believe it's supposed to be by the media, we are crushed. We race and race, working harder, trying to fit more into each day, trying to - as you said- BE the Joneses! We feel inadequate - like we must be doing SOMETHING wrong. It's not that we are doing something wrong. It's that we are actually living life. There is no script, no re-takes, no instruction manual. It's a plan-what-you-can, improvise-when-you-must, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of thing.
Life is NOT a Hallmark commercial. That was a hard lesson for me. Life is made up of lots of Kodak moments, but it isn't, nor will it ever be, one big Kodak moment. Once we reach that realization, we start seeing what is truly important: Family, good friends, raising our kids to be the best possible people they can be and, of course, love.
Again, I LOVE this blog! You are an awesome woman, mother and cousin! Love ya!